talking about myself

Day of Ovulation/IUI: “Wheeeee! Hope! Possibility! Have my hips been elevated long enough?”

1-2 dpo/dpiui: “Wonder if anything’s going on in there. Wonder if this will be the cycle. Not that I’m thinking about it. It’s waaaaay too early to think about it.”

3-5 dpo/dpiui: “I’m thinking about it. I’m googling things, like what the success rates are for my very precise situation. But it’s waaaaaay too early to feel anything.”

6-8 dpo/dpiui: “It’s officially not too early to feel anything. Which means now I have to think about it. Did I just feel something? Excuse me, I must go and google this.”

9-10 dpo/dpiui: “My boobs are definitely getting more sore. Then again, I have been punching them repeatedly for the last two hours.”

11 dpo/dpiui: “FUUUUUUCK. I feel like I always do, and my boobs don’t even hurt when I punch them anymore. I’m not nauseous. I can’t even dream myself into feeling queasy. Time to google “11 dpo no symptoms” for the 15th time today.”

12-13 dpo/dpiui: “I know that I could probably pee on a stick right now and have this over with, but I am not ready to give up this dream yet. I’d rather live in ignorance. And besides, maybe I’d get a false negative and get depressed for no reason. Still, it just doesn’t seem possible that this could have worked. Now that I’m here, and I’m still me, and the me I know is never, ever pregnant, how could I possibly be right now?”

14 dpo/dpiui: (thus far) “Yeah. Just what I thought. I truly am not surprised at all. And I hate that I’m not surprised. With this attitude, how will I ever succeed?”

AAAAAAAAAHHHH how I want this time to be different.

We did the IUI this morning, and it was fine. My husband’s counts and all that stuff were good, and two follicles appear to have ruptured–the third looked pretty big and the doctor said it may still release or it may be in the process or it may not at all, but it was too difficult to tell. I am feeling optimistic and so is my husband, and the doctor said this was a good cycle. He is having me come back in on Friday to test my estrogen and progesterone levels, and then I am to take an hCG “booster” shot to stimulate my ovaries to produce more estrogen and progesterone. Since I am taking more hCG on Friday, he said I can’t test until 10 days later because we can’t be sure the hCG from the shot will be out of my system before then.

So that’s that. Oh also, got great news today: as it turns out, this office only charges for three ultrasounds per cycle. I have had six this cycle, including today, but I have already paid for five. My total today went from $915 (it included screening bloodwork my husband and I had to get done in order to get the IUI) to $285 thanks to the credit from the two ultrasounds I’d paid for but shouldn’t have and the three-ultrasound maximum rule. I told the cashier woman that I’d like her to do that for me every time–tell me it’s going to be way more than it actually is, and then tell me it’s $600 less. Anyway, that was satisfying. Maybe it’s a sign.

I just feel so relieved that I ovulated. And that everything seemed to go well.

I hope this does the trick.

P.S. Re: Novarel–this is not Ovidrel. Though it did not hurt going in, when I got home that night I touched my stomach and it felt like I had been punched there, like this really really tender bruise. It is still tender and still has a red blotch on it. It’s not going to kill you or anything, but in case anyone has to do that, be forewarned. They told me at the office that this was all totally normal. At least I know to expect it when I do it again on Friday.

Oh yeah, also, it gave me a wicked headache for a few days.

We’re doing an IUI.

When I went in on Wednesday, I had great mucous but my follicles weren’t ready. On Friday (yesterday), I knew my mucous wasn’t as good anymore, and I told the doctor. He looked at it and said it looked fine, but admitted it was not as copious (mmm!!!) as last time. The follicles were at 15, 16 and 17. He told me to do one more day of Menopur, yesterday, and to trigger today, Saturday. And, he said, “I want to do an insemination.”

I guess he was concerned that the mucous was decreasing and that by the time I would ovulate, there wouldn’t be enough. I asked if we should have intercourse at all, and he said to do so today, Saturday, but not tomorrow. And we will do the insemination on Monday.

I am fine with doing an insemination, but I am nervous and a little frustrated. I cried a little to the doctor, telling him I was disappointed. Frankly, I didn’t feel like the follicles had really grown in two days, but he thought they had. I didn’t ask him about this, but I wonder now if the follicles will even be ready today. He said I would ovulate two, and MAYBE three. I just don’t see how the smaller one would ovulate, and I’m even skeptical about the middle-sized one. He even said to me that my follicles were not following a two-millimeter-a-day growth pattern, so now I’m sort of wondering why any of them should go. But, as the nurse assured me, “he’s really good; he’s the best.” So I guess I should just trust him.

One thing that was annoying was that my husband and I had not had the blood tests done that you apparently have to have had in order to get an insemination. I was able to do the test while in the office yesterday, but my husband had to make a special trip early this morning, the Saturday after Halloween. And we were out until 2 am at a party…poor guy.

So the insemination is Monday morning. At that time we will also do a scan to confirm ovulation has happened…I hope it has by then! But if not I guess I’ll go in on Tuesday…election day…also dentist appointment day…also the day I have something difficult due at work. Ugh.

Instead of Ovidrel, I’m doing Novarel. Does anyone have any experience with this? Anything interesting to say about it?