Limbo.

April 8, 2008 at 11:45 am (Uncategorized)

Am I pregnant yet? Am I pregnant yet? What does it even mean to be pregnant? Are you pregnant if the egg has been fertilized but implantation hasn’t yet occurred? I mean, I guess most normal people would say yes, but it’s weird to think that the fertilized egg isn’t attached to the mom yet, so it’s not affecting her and she’s not affecting it. Don’t you think that’s sort of weird?

Speaking of weird, since that’s apparently the only word I know, this is such a weird time. First of all, unlike the last three weeks, I suddenly feel like nothing is happening to my body. No more sore ovaries. I didn’t feel myself ovulate if I did so on schedule, which would have been yesterday or last night at some point. I don’t even feel particularly bloated (though I did yesterday and the day before, trigger shot day). I have not started progesterone suppositories yet, and that’s my latest worry. They told me not to start until Friday. They were adamant that they shouldn’t begin until three days after The Sex. Tonight is the last night of The Sex. I think I will feel much better when I start using those suppositories. Wednesday and Thursday are going to be hell because I won’t be able to feel like I’m doing anything towards maintaining a pregnancy, if by some miracle I have achieved one. The only “unnatural” thing I’m doing to myself at the moment is giving myself estrogen through patches. And I’m not even sure why. Maybe the nurse knew I’d go insane if I didn’t get to be giving myself some kind of hormone during this period.

Things are supposed to pick up at work shortly, which will hopefully provide a distraction and not actually cause me to get so stressed out that I am, you guessed it, unable to maintain a pregnancy (or unable to achieve one if that’s still a possibility).

When does implantation occur, and I’m not supposed to feel it, am I? I’m tired of worrying that I’m not feeling something I’m supposed to be feeling.

I’m also tired of only thinking about this, all the time. Yet at the same time, it is the most interesting thing I could possibly imagine thinking about.

Weird.

Advertisements

5 Comments

  1. Mel said,

    Hahaha…. weird!
    First, love “The Sex”–that made me LOL and I needed it today.
    People have different views on what pregnancy means, be it just conception or implantation. I personally feel life starts at the moment of conception, so by that coin you could very well be pregnant in my book! Conception occurs within the first 24 hours after ovulation and implantation occurs 6-10 days after that.
    I wouldn’t worry about the progesterone supps not starting until Friday. Yes, they are irritatingly messy and the pantyliners are a must. I could give myself shots until the cows come home, but I make Husband put those nasty little buggers in for me, can you believe that? I don’t like the way it feels “in there,” it totally grosses me out. I could never be a lesbian, because I don’t get the freaking draw to that area. I am going to freak if he goes out of town next week and I have to do them myself. *shudder*
    And PS-I am still taking estrogen tablets every day, so there must be something to that!

  2. Waiting said,

    In answer to your first weird question- yes, I think that’s weird, too! Pregnancy and everything that goes into achieving it is weird, supernatural and completely miraculous. I’m still shocked that ANYONE gets pregnant. It’s just weird (I may have caught this *weird* virus from you). In any case, I hope you get great news in a couple of weeks!

    I don’t think you are supposed to feel implantation, so I wouldn’t worry about that.

    You’re getting me all excited because I go in for my mid-cycle u/s tomorrow and will hopefully leave with an Ovudril shot to take. Here’s hoping!

  3. Lady Bits said,

    Progesterone isn’t nice. It makes you think you’re pregnant even if you’re not. Hang on in there Tam.

  4. Candi said,

    Hang in there! I am also in Limbo…for 1 more week. I have spoken to a lot of women doing IUI/IVF. Some felt implantation, some didn’t feel anything at all. I am analyzing everything that I am feeling…I’m all “ooh, that was definatly implantation!” and “ooh, my uterus hurts…I am soooo pregnant!” LOL, every little twinge is something! Anyway, stay strong, don’t kill anyone. You are in my prayers.

  5. Angie said,

    I hate the “analyzing” phase, it is so damn annoying. FYI, I’m in it too so I am right there with you. As for implantation, I never felt it but I have talked to people who swear they do. Who knows? Everybody is different. Hang in there – I’m thinking about you!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: