Helpful literature.

April 9, 2008 at 2:52 pm (Uncategorized)

I just read this little article on Yahoo! Health called “Dealing with the Stress of Fertility Treatment.” I have some comments about what it said:

“New research indicates that fertility patients who feel less stressed get pregnant more quickly. So what can you do to minimize stress, both because it may help you get pregnant and because it makes treatment more bearable?”

Yes, what?

“Think of your fertility treatment as a project. Map out a strategy with your partner and your fertility doctor, and stick to it. Decide in advance how many and what kind of procedures will be emotionally and financially acceptable, and attempt to determine a final limit. Try to get in a long-term mindset-hope to be pregnant within a year, rather than obsessing each day.”

This is the one that really bothered me. Now, I realize not everyone can afford to have a never-ending stream of fertility treatments. In fact, I’m not sure anyone can. However, one of the things that has made me feel *especially* stressed is when I think, “I can’t keep trying to do this. If it doesn’t work this time, and some certain number of times after that, I will have to stop entirely. So it really has to work this time, or one of those times in the future, of which there are a decidedly finite number. AAAAAAAAAAGHGHGHGHGH.” I think deciding in advance how many procedures will be acceptable is just setting yourself up for major anxiety every single day. I get the idea behind having a long-term goal rather than a “must work this time” goal, but I don’t see how putting a cap on your time frame or budget, which I know some people have to do anyway, can help with the stress.

“Write down questions to bring to your doctor, so you don’t forget to ask.”

Sure. Isn’t that always true? I still forget to do it, just like every time I go to the doctor.

“Consider what you will do if you don’t conceive. Having an alternative plan, such as adoption, not having children, or using donor eggs can minimize stress and anxiety.”

Hey, I had heard about adoption and donor eggs, but this not having children thing is genius! Why didn’t I think of that before? I feel much better now.

“Consider taking a break every few months.”

We’ll see.

“Communicate with your partner, and expect your partner to have difficulties too. Don’t expect him to always feel the same way that you do, though-different people respond differently to the strains of infertility.”

No, he will respond exactly as I do. I made him promise.

“Fertility treatment can be hard on every aspect of a marriage. Try to do things together that are fun and unrelated to getting pregnant. Make a date to have sex for fun during “non-fertile” times of the cycle.”

But then I’d have to spend time with him when it’s not even necessary, and we have a rule about that.

“Don’t be surprised at your negative reaction when someone else becomes pregnant-even someone you love. It is hard to be happy for others while you are struggling to become a parent yourself.”

Don’t worry, I won’t be surprised.

“Expect to feel emotional during this process — often a roller coaster of anxiety, excitement and frustration. Many modern women have never experienced this sort of loss of control over their lives-you have always been able to get what you wanted if you worked hard enough. Studies indicate that fertility treatment can be more stressful than cancer therapy-with similar feelings of anger, frustration, anxiety, grief, shame, damaged self-esteem, jealousy, isolation, and loss of control.”

Okay, that makes sense.

“Consider getting counseling, learning some relaxation techniques, or joining a support group. You may find yoga, meditation, guided imagery, reiki, massage therapy and/or exercise helpful. Resolve is one of several national organizations that provide information and support to families dealing with fertility issues. For more information try or call 888-623-0744.”

Sure, maybe, whatever. I probably won’t call that number, though. I have the internet.

In other news, I am still not feeling anything. I know I talked about this yesterday, but it totally freaks me out that if there is a fertilized egg inside me right now, it’s just, like, floating around inside me. Should I even be moving around at all? If it bounces into something, will it shatter?

By the way, I am loving (and completely addicted to) your comments. I feel so loved, like Paris Hilton or something.



  1. Mel said,

    I cannot even imagine sitting down and putting and END to this journey on paper. I don’t think it works like that. I truly think you have to listen to your heart and you’ll know when enough is enough. Here’s hoping that neither you nor I ever get to that point. Please God!!

    My girly bits seemed to have shut down for the holiday season as well. I picture my ovaries lying on the beach sipping fruity cocktails with big sunglasses. Damn uterus better be working overtime, though.

    Love your “don’t worry I won’t be surprised” remark. Isn’t that the truth?


  2. Patti said,

    “No, he will respond exactly as I do. I made him promise”

    Omg you made me laugh right outloud with that comment!

  3. Angie said,

    Wow, I agree with you (and laughed out loud) on your response to each question. I mean, really? The person who wrote that has very obviously not been through infertility. It is definitely not a black and white issue and as far as thinking of it as a “project” or planning it out….hahahahahaha! Planning, now that is a good one. Like that’s even remotely possible when it comes to infertility. Pa-lease.

  4. Waiting said,

    Don’t you just love those cheesey, generally unhelpful articles? All they do is remind me that I cannot make baby. Grrr!

    I’m thinking that your potentially fertilized egg probably will NOT shatter! I hear it’s pretty warm and padded in there. :>) You will know soon enough! Can’t wait for a good update.

    Later, Paris!

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