Bored.

April 15, 2008 at 1:33 pm (Uncategorized)

I sort of wish I had more to do at work. I sort of don’t. I have too much time to analyze my symptoms. I am enjoying analyzing my symptoms. I am exhausted. I couldn’t sleep for hours last night.

After I posted, and on into the evening, the cramping got worse. It’s kind of like menstrual cramping, but rather than occasional spikes of intensity, it is more low level and constant. It was hard to get comfortable in bed last night. It’s hard to sit comfortably in this chair right now.

But as the evening wore on, and the cramps became harder to ignore, I became increasingly convinced that this was it. By the time I was in bed, I was actually thinking things like, “Wow, I can’t believe I’m pregnant,” and “how am I going to tell my friends?” It was really weird. It was like I just kind of…knew. And I realize I could have been wrong, but there is still a part of me that is having one of those “women and their mysterious ways of knowing” moments. I’ve never felt like this before, I guess. And while, yes, it could be due to the hormones I’m still externally administering to myself, I just…I don’t know. I don’t totally believe it.

But then again, maybe it’s just my period.

Of course I’ve Googled this, but I played dumb and called the nurse at my RE’s office. She said, “It could be either implantation cramping or menstrual cramping.” Thanks. I asked innocently, “When should I be expecting my period?” She said, “Around the time you’re supposed to test.” That’s next Monday. I said, “Doesn’t this seem kind of early for menstrual cramping if I’m not going to start menstruating for a week?” She said, “It could be your uterus trying to menstruate, but the progesterone isn’t letting it.”

Really? I always figured cramping went right along with the shedding of the lining. Isn’t that what the cramping is for, after all? I always pictured my uterus wringing itself out like a towel. I guess some people say they get cramps up to a week before their period starts, but that has never happened to me. I usually start cramping the day before. Then again, all the periods I can recall were pill-induced, so maybe this is different.

So basically, I was trying to get her to say, “Oh, that’s a good sign!” But she wouldn’t. Too slippery for me, that nurse is.

However, I am going into the office on Monday for a blood test, so I can let them tell me I’m pregnant instead of having to rely on a stick. I’m sort of glad for that. Maybe I’ll use up my last two sticks over the next couple of days, just to treat myself. Because I deserve it.

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4 Comments

  1. Lady Bits said,

    The 2WW was the worse bit for me. I oscillated on a minute by minute basis, one second convinced I was preggas, the other not. But I found this blog entry helpful and amusing: http://embryomotel.blogspot.com/2006/09/for-desperate-and-imaginative.html

    Good luck – and I hope you sleep well tonight.

  2. Mel said,

    damn nurse and her worthless insight!
    i, too, have had on and off cramping. i thought it was a bad sign, but just as soon as my eyes begin to well up with tears, it magically stops.
    i am telling you, the progesterone is evil and wicked.
    i am still hoping the best for you, sweetpea! love hearing that positivity of yours!!

  3. Handsandfeet said,

    Yep, cramping here, too. Just mild, but on and off throughout the day, and have been for about 3 days now (I’m 6 DPO). I feel like it’s too early (and constant) for implantation cramping. But there’s no harm in hoping, right?

  4. waiting said,

    The 2WW is pure, unadulterated TORTURE!!! Try to hang in there, and I’ll be sending lots of baby thoughts your way. Big Hug.

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