I bore myself.

May 6, 2008 at 9:58 am (Uncategorized)

I wish I weren’t so worried about my identity being discovered on this blog–then I might actually be able to write about something interesting. Instead I have to bore myself and all of you over and over again with mind-numbing details about my uterine lining and hormone doses.

And on that note, time for an update.

I woke up four hours ago, and I just now got to work, at about 9:30 am. I’m exhausted and ready to go home. But anyway, at the doc’s, I learned that my lining is quite thick (7.9 mm), but my follicles are still lagging. The biggest one I think was about 9.2 mm or something. So I’ve been upped to one vial per day, starting today. The nurse seemed to feel things would probably move quite quickly at this point, somehow reading my thick lining as a sign of this. Never mind the fact that she started me on estrogen patches last Friday for the very purpose of thickening my lining. It’s like she thinks my lining is thick because of the Menopur, or because my follicles are growing (even though they’re not), rather than because of the estrogen she’s given me. Basically, I don’t get it. It’s kind of as though she prescribed me a diet of french fries and milkshakes five times a day for the last two weeks, and when I came in she said, “Oh wow, it looks like you’re putting on some weight. Are you depressed?”

So I’m on a vial a day until Friday, when I go back for another ultrasound. And she even said, “If you start to feel uncomfortable or pressure in your ovaries, you should come in on Thursday.” Wow. I am encouraged by the unprecedented alarm. She said she thinks we’re “almost there.”

Then, because I didn’t really have anything pressing this morning at work, I went back home and gave myself the other half of the vial I started this morning.

See what I mean? Pretty fascinating stuff, this.

I just really hope something’s happening by Friday. Yes, that’s the day my friends are coming to stay with us. And yeah, so as it turns out, I ended up just telling my friend. We were on the phone and I said, “Okay, this has kind of been bothering me, so I’m just going to say it and I hope you don’t think I’m too weird…” And when I told her she laughed and said, “Just let us know if you guys need to get away for awhile.” Very sweet. I still think back on it and wonder if it seems completely strange and creepy that I told her. But again, the reason I did is because I hate the tiptoeing around the subject when I would normally just tell her everything.

I am excited that they’re coming out here, though. That will be a fun distraction for the weekend.

In the mean time, I seem to have gained more weight, and I’m really hoping it’s a bloating thing. It does strike me as funny how the difference actually matters to us–I mean, it’s already idiotic enough that we care about a few pounds here or there, but that it should be better when it’s water retention rather than actual fat, like we don’t have to feel bad about being bloated because it’s somehow morally superior to fat. Oh, you mean those two pounds aren’t from the half a cheesecake I ate on Sunday night? Phew, and here I was feeling guilty.

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3 Comments

  1. Waiting said,

    LOL…bloat is better, isn’t it? I think so.

    I hope the upped dosage does gets the job done. I know the waiting totally sucks. It’s great news that your lining is looking good. I’ll be hoping those follies grow and that you get an excellent report on Friday.

  2. Mel said,

    Odd that they are letting your endometrium get so thick but letting your follicles lag behind it lack that. Sometimes I feel like I should be the doctor and they should listen to me because I know better. Do you ever feel like that?

    Have you discussed IUI with them at all? Is that an option for you guys?

    I feel you on the bloating. The first few days of my cycle are flat belly and then once I start the injections the bloating just goes crazy and then continues even worse through the progesterone. Damn it all.

    *hugs*

  3. sara said,

    I’m hoping that the follicles start jumping into action for you. Are you guys doing an IUI with it? I hope things start moving along and the time starts speeding up for you 🙂

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