Today

June 11, 2008 at 12:28 pm (Uncategorized)

Today my heart is racing and I’m shaking and I can’t concentrate on anything.

Last night I was lying in bed, exhausted, before my husband had come to bed, and I started freaking out. I called him in and just wept to him. I feel so overwhelmed by all of this. It’s just too much. It wasn’t bad before because there was nothing I could even think about doing. But now it’s 12 dpo and, well, you know. It’s just hanging there over my head. And on Friday I run out of progesterone, which I have to keep taking if, well, you know, but which I don’t have to keep taking if, well, you know. If I had my way, I’d just let the progesterone stop on Friday and see if I ever get my period, but I guess I’m not allowed to do it that way.

I am aggressively analyzing every word I write to see if they contain any secret hexes I might be putting on myself. Are these the words of a person who will soon get a BFP or are they the words of the sucker who will soon get a BFN?

Help, you guys. I’m not doing so hot.

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