For lack of a better title, Cycle Day 18

August 27, 2008 at 10:36 am (Uncategorized)

Nothing new to report, really. Back on the FSH and LH–I really can’t get enough of the stuff. Predictably slow cycle, of course. I’ve now come to expect it and it is much less disappointing going to ultrasounds now because I’m not surprised any more when nothing is happening. My husband’s morphology turned out to be good, so now there really isn’t any more information we can gather unless we decide to do IVF, which we have not seriously considered yet. Oh, except the progesterone test a week after ovulation, to make sure I ovulated. That is obviously a ways off.

I really have been thinking about this in a better way, though. I think I felt like it had to happen during the first three cycles or it meant something was probably truly wrong. Since this last failure, though, I’ve heard about a lot of people who took eight months, nine months, a year to get pregnant. I will assume that was eight tries, nine tries, twelve tries…and we’ve only tried thrice (four times if you count the two eggs of the last cycle). And that’s okay.

On the recommendation of my doctor, I went to see the fertility therapist–she is “the” fertility therapist because she apparently knows all the doctors in town and I guess is the main person who does this. My doctor said that people are surprised to find that they start thinking about things differently after talking to her. Well, she was very nice, and it’s always lovely to be able to sit around for an hour or so and talk about yourself, and it’s especially nice to talk about a process with someone who understands that process in a world where not many people do. But to be honest, I didn’t find it all that enlightening. She basically said what I knew she would say, which is that I have to find a way to live my life with this without going crazy. I have to live the part of my life that isn’t trying to conceive, and even though it won’t be able to be quite as full as it otherwise would, I have to try and not let it run my life. Yeah, I know. And I feel like I’ve gotten better at that lately. She also encouraged me not to be afraid of my doctor, to get a second opinion if it would make me feel better, and to talk to my office about cutting costs. I thought that was good, and I promptly moved my ultrasound to a day later, since I knew that nothing would be happening on Thursday anyway. I feel like they can be more spread out and maybe I don’t have to have quite so many. Another thing she said is that I have to treat myself nicely during this time. Be decadent when I need it. I liked hearing that.

Not much else to say about it. I still feel jealous when I hear about other people getting pregnant. I still want it badly. But I still think I’ll have it. I just hope it doesn’t take too too too long, or cost too too too much money. But any amount would be worth it, of course.

In other aspects of my life, I had a fantastic long weekend last Thursday through Sunday at the wedding of two of my best friends (they married each other). Since we were the only people traveling across the country for the wedding (as far as I know), we got to hang out with the couple alone before everyone arrived and after everyone left. It was so much fun, though it made me miss college terribly. And the best was that these were my friends from college, but my husband hasn’t been able to stop talking about it and he now wishes he went to my college and lived back east permanently so we could hang out with these people all the time. That is so much fun for me, I can’t even tell you.

Ah well, back to life. And work. I will tell you though, that was my last event where I have to worry about fitting into a dress (I was a bridesmaid). It is a big relief to not have to worry about that anymore.

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