Something is happening to me

October 20, 2008 at 9:54 pm (Uncategorized)

I’ve turned a corner…in a bad way. I used to feel excited and optimistic about trying to get pregnant. Now I feel desperate and so, so sad. I just read something that mentioned Amy Poehler and how pregnant she is…and I burst into tears. I can’t believe that I will never get pregnant, but…I just feel like…this is impossible. Absolutely impossible. I feel so lost and sad. It doesn’t feel fun anymore.

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2 Comments

  1. dana said,

    You know, we reach a certain point in this marathon where it is no longer fun and exciting. And what a curse that is to bear.

    A wise woman and someone I think of as a mentor once shared with me something that was passed down to her. I reflect on it (more often that I’d like to admit) and I hope it helps you, even if just a little:

    “Keep the green bough in your heart and the singing bird will come.”

  2. Mel said,

    I know I am the last person you probably want to hear from on this, but I felt compelled to have to say something because I’ve been here and I’ve felt this. I loathed people around me for trying to act like they understood or speak to me as if they had some place in it all. I couldn’t accept the failure of my body until I accepted the possibility of my life without a child. I don’t know that it was the right attitude to have, but it helped me pull through the low spots where no one else could see me. Even my husband, even my very best friend.
    I am thinking of you and praying for you, for what it’s worth.

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