Advice

August 10, 2009 at 7:59 pm (Uncategorized)

I feel like shit. I don’t know why. I was feeling so much better for almost a week. I’m 14 weeks tomorrow. I can’t describe the feeling, either. It’s not nausea, exactly, although it sort of is. It definitely involves absolutely nothing sounding appetizing to me, barely being able to choke anything down, and still not gaining much weight. And okay, it definitely kind of involves nausea.

But that’s not really what I want advice about (although if you have something helpful to say in that regard, BY ALL MEANS). Here’s what I need help with:

I am a lawyer. A couple weeks ago, I volunteered to help out with a pro bono project that would involve me going on a tour of a prison/immigration detention facility, where I will make observations and interview detainees. The tour is this Thursday. I was pretty sure I’d feel better by then, and I really needed the hours, which is why I volunteered.

I’ve already mostly dealt with my concerns about being exposed to disease while there. It occurred to me this morning that that could be an issue, and I put in a call to my doctor, who told me very frankly that she was happy to give me an excuse to skip the tour if I wanted that, but that as long as there hadn’t been any recent outbreaks of disease at the prison, it was probably not an issue.

However, my concern is how craptastic I feel and how high-maintenance I am these days. I am supposed to meet the other people (there will be 6 of us total) at the office at 7:30 am (I don’t usually get in until 9:30ish), at which point we will have to drive several hours into the desert to get to this place, and they told me today that last year they skipped lunch and stayed until about 2:30 and that I should not plan to get back to the office until 5 or so.

I am really worried that I am going to be severely uncomfortable in this situation. None of the people I’m going with knows I’m pregnant. I could certainly tell them, but ultimately them knowing doesn’t really matter–the choice of whether it makes sense to go is totally up to me. It’s already hard enough for me to figure out what I want to eat at any given moment, so even if I were to pack snacks, I feel like it would be difficult. I don’t know when I’d be able to get away to eat. And what about getting to the bathroom? I even hate to think about making them stop several times on the way. I have no idea what the situation will be in the prison. And let’s add to that that I am feeling like such crap today that if I’m feeling this way while I’m there, I don’t know what I’ll do.

Look, it would not be a disaster for these people if I did not go; it would make the project slightly more burdensome on them, I believe, but not hugely more so. But I really don’t want to be a crappy colleague, and I don’t want to wuss out if this is not a big deal and if a normal pregnant person would go. I really second guess myself on these things: Am I too delicate? Do I need to just suck it up? I have never been one for “roughing it,” and this sort of falls into that category for me. Am I dying to go on this thing? Absolutely not. But I do think it would probably be a good experience for me. Not a once-in-a-lifetime thing by any means. But good. Interesting. But the kid in me (not the actual kid in me, the figurative kid) is stomping her foot and saying “NO.”

So…what would you do?

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2 Comments

  1. patti said,

    I won’t give you “advice” because I think if you re-read your post, you’ve already decided what to do. But here’s what *I* would do in this situation:

    I would tell them I am pregnant and feeling like absolute crap. That I want to go on this “adventure” however it would mean several stops while travelling and, yeah, I’d have to stop for lunch.

    If they’re okay with all that, that’s one hurdle overcome…however I bet you dollars to doughnuts that when they hear you’re pregnant they’ll be concerned about how stressful on you and the baby this trip *could* be.

    Your biggest concern right now – the one that surmounts all others – is the health of your baby and, therefore, your health as well. I know how difficult it is to keep that in mind when you just feel like you with a cold (or stomach bug) and the concept that there is a baby growing inside you still feels totally foreign, but just think of it this way: If it ended up being the “trip from hell” and you became dehydrated or just plain exhausted how much time would you spend worrying about what effects would have on your baby?

    Is it worth it? If you feel it is, then go for it. If you don’t, then you have the best excuse in the world to plead out and no one can fault you for it.

    Hm. Looks like I gave you advice after all. 😉

  2. patti said,

    Hey lady – how are ya? What did you end up doing?

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